he rolls his shoulders as his gaze flickers over the other’s features and he’s tired while he can feel the waves of exhaustion coming off of elwood, it just makes him even more exhausted. he apparently craved that because he had no plans on leaving unless the older male removed him himself. he runs his fingers through his hair and so much has happened in the last few days that his stomach can’t handle the way it turns every single time he steps into the older male’s home. it’s not a bad turning, but it’s not something he’s used to, so it’s something he tries to push away. caspar desperately wants to reach out and pull the other towards him, just to see what kind of reaction he gets. a brow is arched and he just blinks at him for a beat or two without saying much of anything. just swings his legs back and forth, almost ready to grin like a child. “marble is perfectly capable of being cleaned up. don’t worry, i’ll do it m’self.” he takes a deep breath and presses the heels of his hands against his temples for a second. he decides to just do it, reaching forward to grip onto the other male’s shirt and brings him in, crashing their lips together. the pain that shoots through him because of the wound is enough to have tears burning behind his eyelids, which is exactly what happens, and blood smears over elwood’s mouth before caspar pulls away and moves off of the counter to turn and clean up the mess he’s made with his mistakes.
he thinks if they had met under different circumstances, they could have been something amazing. but right now, they’re both too stubborn and too hurt to do much more than destroy one another in the process of hurting themselves, too. elwood looks at caspar and he sees someone VULNERABLE, someone fragile, but he also looks at him and sees a fierceness to live that he hasn’t seen in someone for a long time. the last person to hold that look had been his brother, and elwood convinced himself many years ago aura had taken that desire to the grave with him. by the time caspar tugs him close, elwood had already put distance between them, and so the sudden jolt comes as a surprise – but not as much as the kiss does. the first thing he registers is the burn of caspar’s lips, and then the tang of METALLIC overwhelms him ; lips slicked with caspar’s BLOOD and it should be disgusting but he finds himself moaning instead, hands pressed into caspar’s waist before he’s lifting him the short distance back on to the counter ( it takes more effort that he’ll admit. ) shoving him back against the wall, elwood stands between caspar’s legs, hands cupping his cheeks as he tugs him back down, tongue swiping the boy’s bloodied lip.
he knows he should be more upset about the things that have transpired recently, but he doesn’t feel much of anything. so when elwood gets upset and the cloth is thrown at him, all he can do is snort. “s’the last thing ‘m worried ‘bout at this point. s’the last thing you should be worried ‘bout, too. if i die from an infection, s’one less thing for you to deal with.” his speech is slightly slurred and he realises he’s probably taken a few too many pain pills. hey – it numbed him even more. he hums softly and plays with the cloth in his lap. deep down he notices something is wrong with the other male and he narrows his gaze because isn’t he supposed to ask at this point? would it really matter considering how elwood had snapped at him the last time? so he keeps his mouth shut and seems to forget how there’s a cut in his lip and accidentally bites down. “owfuckmesideways.” he growls and then presses his fingertips to the wound. he’s still bleeding and he actually giggles. yes, he’s losing it.
he doesn’t bother to correct him, because he gathers there’s no point. s’one less thing for you to deal with. if he’d said it to him a few days ago, he’d have been so angry – – HURT in a way he most likely would have conveyed in unhealthy methods. but now, all he does is watch him, stare vacant. he isn’t upset, he’s far from it, he feels indifferent ; made peace with the fact that his emotions have long since gone haywire. bruises rest beneath his eyes, hair brittle and dry, EXHAUSTED in more ways than one ( and his stomach has felt it, too. ) he wonders if caspar remembers the press of bones beneath his fingers, how when elwood withered and moaned beneath him if he could see the sickening dip of his stomach, the rise of his ribs. but to elwood, that dip is a rise, and his ribs aren’t even visible. such a beautiful boy, caspar had whispered. elwood is proud of himself for not believing him. ❛ you’re getting blood on the marble. clean yourself up. ❜
he’s tired. tired and his bones ache – he just doesn’t care. caspar’s eyes are out of focus when he looks up at elwood and his jaw clenches. “’m fine.” is what comes out in a rasp and he rakes his trembling fingers through long curls. his knuckles are cut up as is his lower lip and he just doesn’t care. it’s all the same and it will be with the older boy, too. only more so that he’s going to stop coming around and maybe he knows that already. even if the other says otherwise. “’m fine.” he repeats and pushes the rag away. “it’ll scab. people like that – know ‘m used. spices things up.” he gives a hollow chuckle and his grin is weak, full of teeth.
all he can do is stare. there’s BLOOD on his own hands from where shaking fingers had reached up to brush caspar’s lips, the crimson liquid staining his skin. that’ll need to be scrubbed, he thinks, and perhaps there’s a metaphor in there someone about how caspar’s PAIN has just become his own PROBLEM. he had initially been silent in his movements, unwilling to speak, and the boy’s words only fuel what little fire he has left – if he doesn’t want help, elwood certainly isn’t going to beg him. ❛ … fine, do what you want. ❜ he throws the cloth back at him, turning away. ❛ – – at least clean it up. the last thing you need is an infection. ❜
his words are like a slap to the face ; they come out of nowhere, with no pre-warning and elwood feels trapped, enclosed and corned because what isn’t wrong, these days? he looks at caspar and sees purity and something so genuine it makes his heart ache ; he’s everything elwood isn’t. elwood, who comes home more nights than not with blood covering his hands, who manipulates and lies to get what he wants, who craves attention at any cost. he’s not a nice person, but caspar is, and he’s waiting for the boy to wake up ad realise that. his stare is emotionless, cold – merely offering a shrug of his shoulders. ❛ there’s nothing about what’s happening that’s slow. ❜ elwood pauses, fingers idly drumming against the table top, gaze shifting across the room. slowly, the corners of his lips curl up into the smallest of smiles ; but it’s faint, and it looks more manic than anything else. ❛ stop being so concerned. nothin’ happened. ❜
“whenever you wanna leave is when i wanna leave.” he replies almost immediately and a hum escapes his plump lips. “you’re the one invitin’ me into your home!” the boy grins and he leans into the other’s side for a moment. “mm, y’can have me for the day if you’d like. i work on my own time – best thing ‘bout being self employed.” and he giggles to himself again before sipping from the drink in his hands. “you live far from here?” he asks, arching a brow at the other.
he’s so sweet, is the thing. if elwood felt much at all these days he’s the kind of boy elwood would want between his sheets - but as it stands, he’ll stick with the weird protective vibe he’s got going on around caspar, one that ( apparently ) runs a mile wide. ❛ – everyone deserves a shower. besides, s’not like you’re much of a risk to me. i somehow doubt you’re going to try and lift off with my stuff, but even if you tried, you wouldn’t get very far. ❜ humming, elwood shakes his head, before taking a different turn down the path. ❛ other side of the square, by the apartments overlooking the river? ❜
his gaze is on the cup that elwood’s holding up and his smile curls up a little more, his dimples prominent. “ – i do love hot chocolate. can’t say i’ve had it in awhile.” his teeth dig into his bottom lip as he wraps his long fingers around the warm cup. he inhales slowly and hums, that’s a good memory scent. after a sip or two of the now lukewarm liquid, he raises his eyebrows over the other’s teasing words. he let’s out a giggle and then covers his mouth, “’m sorry – “ he mumbles and clears his throat as his cheeks turn rosy. “uhm – yes, yeah… that’d be nice. if it’s not too much trouble. don’t like puttin’ people out or anything.”
he beams at the other’s words, and he doesn’t know why he’s so proud of himself for getting caspar’s drink order right, but he’s soon biting his lip to stifle a laugh. ❛ – don’t apologise, caspar. it’s a shower, m’more than happy to help. jus’ let me know when ya’ wanna leave. ❜ humming, elwood drags his knees towards his chest, head tipping back to rest against the brick wall. ❛ what’s your plan for today, then? or am i good to steal you for the day? ❜
he follows behind elwood, still, and chews on his lip. “i’d be an awful father.” is all he says and shakes his head at the other. elwood explains that he and his brother had been on their own since they were sixteen and he just nodded ; he didn’t want to touch too long on the subject of the other’s twin just in case. he chuckled as elwood pats the counter and dropped his bag onto the floor once he’s locked the door. “it’ll be okay – i know it will…” he mumbled, but did what the other told him to do. he gripped onto the counter and spread his legs a little so elwood could step between them, to get close enough. he wrinkled up his nose at the other and flinched as he touched anywhere near the bruise. “didn’t even do any damage to my jaw this time. ‘m sure i can still chew. and give the best blowie of ‘nyone’s life…” he mused, arching a brow at elwood, a teasing tone behind his words. the last thing he wanted to do was make him uncomfortable. his cheeks were pink and he closed his eyes as he leaned in to let the other inspect his wound. he knew he’d try to check the cut on his lip, too, and he took a deep breath through his nose, hiding the whine at the back of his throat.
elwood smirks up at him, evidently amused. he leaves the boy’s words alone, figuring it’s a touchy subject, before he willingly steps between the other’s thighs. elwood raises the wipe to start gently wiping any blood from caspar’s lip, thumb gently pushing caspar’s head to the side. looking up at him, he laughs suddenly, his own smirk enhanced before he shakes his head, raising a brow. ❛ arrogance isn’t cute, sweetheart. ❜ he’s only messing with him, though – elwood is a lot of things, but he likes to think he isn’t a hypocrite. it’ll be hard for elwood to find someone who lives him as much as he loves himself. once he’s finished with the wipe, he leans over to drop it into the trash can, before returning to the between the boy’s legs. with a final look at the bruise, he nods, satisfied – before stepping back and watching him carefully. ❛ – … try an’ go easy though, caspar. don’t want’cha doin’ permanent damage. when have you got to go back to work? ❜
“ – you’re like a regular without actually being a regular.” he smiles gently in elwood’s direction and opens up his bottle of water. “i wish i didn’t look like such a vagabond every single time you come to see me. i need to find a shower and clean myself up. i promise i look like an actual human being under the grime.” his cheeks are pink and he wiggles around a little bit. the bruises have dulled and he just looks tired for the most part, but as soon as he saw elwood appear, his features lit up considerably. “whatcha’ up to?”
he drops down next to the boy on the floor again, his position similar to the last time. he holds out a paper cup, smile soft. ❛ – … didn’t ‘ave anythin’ to do, thought i’d come check on ya’. make sure those shiners were holdin’ up okay. he nods in approval as he notes the bruises fading, before glancing down to the cup. ❛ i stopped by costa, ‘n i wasn’t sure if you drink coffee, so i bought hot chocolate. everyone likes hot chocolate. – you know, i mean.. i have a shower, if you wanna use it. promise m’not gonna try ‘n murder you … well. not on the carpet, anyway. ❜
the younger of the two watches as elwood moves in front of him and his eyebrows raise while his cheeks flush considerably. his head dips as the other speaks, his lips turning into a frown when he speaks of having a twin that passed. he could probably convey the apologies with his expression, keeping quiet until elwood mentions having five children. the boy squawks a little at that and his eyes widen. he’s got five kids and an ex-husband – hell, he could barely keep himself afloat let alone an entire family. “ – that’s lovely, elwood.” he speaks softly. there’s envy at the very back of his mind – of course, anyone would be envious of such a situation if you were in caspar’s position. and then it’s gone because he’d never get that. he didn’t even daydream of it like he used to – he would be a godawful father and elwood seems like he was the kindest and gentlest of them all. he wonders what it’s like…to be cared for like that, so extensively. biting into his lip, he stops in his tracks because he assumes they’re at the diner and just waits for the other to go in first so he could follow. “ – don’t remember the last family i was with. i was …just turnin’ sixteen. ran away.” he murmured, but smiled nonetheless – always smiled. “was three years ago, now ‘m doin’ this and can’t even begin to imagine what bein’ a father would be like, but ‘m sure you do an amazing job.” he hums and nudges the man beside him before slipping into a booth.
he laughs softly, before shaking his head. its nice speaking to him, he seems calm ; put together, in a way. plus, elwood has always had a preference for speaking to strangers – they don’t know who he is, nor what he’s done. even more so, as a result, it means he doesn’t feel like he’s consistently being judged. biting his lip, elwood’s cheeks darken, nodding a little. ❛ yeah – .. they’re m’world, those kids are. don’t know what i’d be without them, certainly not as happy with life as i am now, i think. ❜ opening the door to the diner, elwood motions for the other boy to follow through, digging in his own backpack for the pack of wipes he carries ( another perk of being a father. ) ❛ d’ya wanna have kids, do you reckon? some time down the line? or is it .. not somethin’ ye’ really thought about? ❜ elwood glances up, brows furrowing in recognition before his smile softens, shrugging awkwardly. ❛ me ‘n me brother were on our own, too, from when we were sixteen. not the best of ages. we got by, though – like i said, we did what he had to do. leading him to the bathroom, elwood pats on the surface beside the sinks, stepping back. ❛ hope up ‘ere for me, caspar. lets take a look at that bruise of yours. ❜
he runs his tongue over his bottom lip as elwood speaks and he winces a little. caspar knows he probably sounds awful to anyone else, trying to make excuses. the boy’s not always like that, though. he shuts people down that are too much for him, but sometimes he just needs it as much as they do. his long fingers are buried into the pockets of his jeans and his gaze is on his boots as he shifts his weight from one foot to the other. he feels like a scolded child for a few moments, but then he shakes it off and glances over at elwood, nudging him with his hip. “’m okay…” he whispers in his direction and gives him a gentle smile. “nah, s’not too heavy.” his frame leans closer to elwood’s as they make their way down the sidewalk and he rolls his shoulders to release some tension. he’s being kind. elwood’s being kind and then he’ll leave and he’ll go back to the numbness he was hoping for before the other male had sat down with him. “d’you got any family or anythin’ around here?” he asks just to keep their conversation off of him for now, though he wasn’t sure how long that would last.
he didn’t mean it in the way he sounded, he’s sure. sighing softly, elwood runs a hand through his hair and glances his gaze back to the boy, smile sheepish. ❛ – … i didn’t – that’s not what i meant. i just meant that i don’t want you to think that there’s a reason out there good enough to excuse them hurting you like they do, ‘cause there isn’t.❜ his smile brightens a little as the boy nudges him, cheeks flushed as he walks alongside caspar ; elwood ( without realising it ) places himself slightly in front of the boy, so that those who bump shoulders with them as they pass bump into elwood instead, and not caspar. elwood isn’t blind ; he’s seen how hurt caspar appears to be, he has no intentions of allowing it to get even worse. at the question, elwood blanches, before nodding his head, smile quickly returning to being fond. ❛ … – i had a twin brother, but he passed a coupl’a years ago now. ‘ve got my kids, though! i have five... ❜ he waits for the inevitable shock, before laughing softly. ❛ two are biologically mine, keegan and evander. effy, byron and lily are my ex-husband’s children. but… i love them as much as my own, so. when people ask how many kids i have, i always include them. ❜
