* - elwood’s words elicit a snicker from siah, the male’s dark eyes rolling yet again. it seemed to become a habit to do so each time he’s in the other’s presence ( but truly, he means that in the best way ). ‘ yeah, yeah … we get it, you love yourself … self love is important … ‘ siah taunts. if he’s to be honest, he’s jealous of elwood’s ability to be so confident in himself. siah presents himself as cocky whenever he can, although beneath the surface, there’s nothing but an insecure boy in the shell of something completely different. it’s something he can ignore, however –– it’s not a constant, nagging thought.
elwood’s answer to his question almost brings a yikes from his lips –– he definitely hadn’t meant to bring up a sensitive topic with his joke. ‘ fuck …. i’m sorry. ‘ guilt coats his tone and he truly is sorry, he’s never been officially divorced but he could only imagine what something like that would feel like. ‘ if you need anything, uh … let me know. i have a shoulder to cry on. i have lots of alcohol too. my specialty. ‘ it’s spoken in a joking tone, but he means it –– he figures elwood is most likely going through a rough time and siah’s not one to leave a friend when they’re hurt.
‘ uhhhh –––– … ‘ siah trails off. he wants to answer elwood’s question, but responding with a yeah, i’ve been locked up indoors for the past 12 months of my life and my only friend was a bottle of henny seems a little pathetic. he doesn’t really want to open with that. ‘ y’know … just hangin’ out, i guess. i got a hamster. ‘
truthfully, elwood finds that siah’s words hurt him. we get it, you love yourself. it makes no sense because this is the entire facade he’d been attempting to fool people with, yet to hear someone explicitly say it to him almost brings home the strict fact that it isn’t true. of course, that isn’t to say there isn’t some truth behind it – he is arrogant, and he is cocky and self assured – but there’s also a desperation beneath that mask that screams for someone else to love him, for someone else to show him that he doesn’t have to love himself so much because, in the simplest terms, he loves himself so much to compensate for the fact that nobody else does.
❛ … nah, don’t apologise to me – had nothin’ to do with you. ❜ he knows that, even if he were feeling low, he wouldn’t go to him for help – and that’s not an attack on the boy, he wouldn’t go to anyone. elwood prefers to suffer in silence or refuse to suffer at all. though the alcohol mentioned does sound incredibly tempting – the only person he’ll be telling his stories to is his old friend jack daniels. rough time or not, he’s still too proud to ask for help.
he isn’t impressed with the answer he’s given, but he doesn’t press it. whether that’s because, in his bad mood, he doesn’t care enough to ask or because he believes siah doesn’t want to talk about it remains undecided, but he does offer an amused grin to him, eyebrow raising. ❛ … a hamster, huh? what’s their name? – ❜
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